Well, I put it all in an index fund, and, I'm just going to leave it where it is.
...
I don't think I created a good faith violation with my IRA, but I'm not really when I'll know for sure. Well, two days from now I guess. I'm going to day trade tomorrow, but I'm going to take it slow, play it safe, and not let my emotions get the better of me.
...
I'm thinking about what to do about my IRA, like, I'm thinking about what I should do next. Now that I've closed out my position in VFC, I can really do something else. I'm not here trying to grind my way into a profit, or, out of a loss or whatever. I'm irritated because I spent so much time trying to make it work, and now it's just over.
On the one hand I'm thinking that maybe this is the point where it would have turned around, and I could have existed without a loss, or, even have made some money, on the other hand, VFC could just as easily have dropped to 8.00 a share, in fact, I think I was strategizing on how to deal with that exact situation, but, then it started turning around.
What did the fortune cookie say?
"The universe is aligning to bring you a soulmate connection."
and I'm just thinking: yeah, sure it is.
When I think about how that all turned out, like, I would have been better off just getting a second job or something, but that wouldn't work either because I'm really just too tired to work two jobs.
...
I went to the buffet, had dinner. I guess I shouldn't be super discouraged or anything, but I'm definitely frustrated. I'm less frustrated than I was earlier, but, still frustrated.
I guess I kind of made 3.50, when I look at the cost basis of the shares I bought today against the shares I sold.
But, today was just so agonizing that I don't want to do it again. When I think back about how the trading day when, there was a point where I could have bought back in at 19.08, and that would have meant that I ended the day with the same number of shares that I started with, and made a profit, but, for some reason I didn't buy back in, I think that, at the time, I thought that I had to buy back in at 19.06 or less, so I was holding out, but then the share price rose to the point where buying back in was more or less hopeless, and then out of frustration I sold everything, and in retrospect I shouldn't have done that either because, I could have sold those shares for slightly more than I sold them for.
I'm not completely done with day trading, or active investing, or active trading, it's just that I think that I need to re-work my approach. I don't want to buy back into VFC and try again. I'll just do something else, but, yeah, that was a real headache.
...
I experienced a moment of very intense frustration earlier. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. I almost thought about taking off to Salt Lake City, but, then I thought never mind. I don't like going into details, but I guess I will. I've had a hard time with my position in VFC stock. Disaster. I entered a position back in February, and it's done nothing but crater ever since. I kept doubling down for a few months, and it continued to drop, so, I had to re-strategize. My goal was to reduce my position size slowly by buying a few shares, and selling that new position with a fraction more with each sell. I'd buy 5.95 shares and sell 6.00, and do that throughout the day.
Then I ran into a problem, Cash Accounts aren't subject to the Pattern Day Trade rule the same way that Margin Accounts are, but Cash Accounts are still subject to a kind of Good Faith Violations rule, or a settled cash rule, and this turned out to be a pain in the neck. The number of round trips I can make in a day isn't fixed, but it's still limited buy the settlement of the purchase of shares, and the proceeds of any sell of shares.
At some point I realized that I could actually do things in the opposite direction as well, sell 6.00 shares, and buy 5.95 shares afterward, and the effect would be the same, or similar, and I would do this as the share price fell. I ended up selling more shares than I wanted to, and the opposite happens when I do things the other way around, I end up with more shares than I want to hold onto when I buy and sell, and I end up selling more shares than I want to when I sell, and then buy.
In a bout of frustration I ended up selling all my shares, and when I thought about buying back in, I thought: fuck this, I'm out of it, and, you know, do I really want to go back in on something that has caused me such intense frustration? The answer is no. So you know, I guess that's over.
It really made me think about how so many things in my life just don't seem to work out for me. So many fucking things just don't seem to work out for me.
Well, I guess I didn't lose a huge amount of money, but I'm more or less done with day trading for the time being.
...
Success just seems to be so elusive for me, whether it's success in the workplace, or, with investing, or, with artistic pursuits, or, educationally, or, with sexual and romantic pursuits.
I'd like to come up with a list of all the things I've given up on, the things I've lost interest in.
...
Why can't I just win for once? This is so irritating.
...
One of the things in life that I really hate, it that everything seems to be so much easier for everyone else. I'm having a hard time, and, nothing ever seems to get much easier.
...
I think about the things in life that elude me. Here we go. I never get anything that I want.
...
Oh, I actually do have something to say. Lint pills. They are a nightmare, I was using a cuticle cutter to remove them, but then I remembered how I used to deal with this: by using a razor blade, the kind of shaving, a Bic razor blade. It works like a charm. I found an old kitchen knife that I used for removing lint pills from my pants, I bought the kitchen knife back when I was living in Arlington, but, when I found it, it was rusty. I was surprised that it was rusty because the knife was a stainless steel knife, but, whatever, it was rusty, so I threw it in the recycling bin.
...
Anyway. I don't really know what to say right now.
...
56 50 60 40 10 90 40 06 22 11 23
23 00 20 30 01 45 03 22 04 02 14
37 05 40 10 36 29 60 03 03 00 25
13 29 05 29 86 26 31 80 05 33 80
08 18 19 83 07 17 11 54 11 33 08
23 00 20 30 01 45 03 22 04 02 14
37 05 40 10 36 29 60 03 03 00 25
13 29 05 29 86 26 31 80 05 33 80
08 18 19 83 07 17 11 54 11 33 08
14 15 26 28 43 57 16 08 07 14 12
09 04 15 14 20 11 14 15 23 23 08
15 20 08 05 06 21 03 11 09 19 06
21 03 14 25 36 78 54 12 32 01 23
11 09 14 07 10 10 12 14 14 12 21
23 09 20 08 13 02 21 20 20 08 09
19 08 84 85 65 58 52 32 14 14 25
09 19 01 18 05 01 12 20 05 01 19
05 91 95 25 35 21 25 32 25 85 74
04 01 12 12 01 19 41 74 85 25 78
...
19 08 84 85 65 58 52 32 14 14 25
09 19 01 18 05 01 12 20 05 01 19
30 19 28 23 19 75 36 19 70 11 23
...
29 04 15 14 20 11 14 15 23 23 08
15 33 12 52 23 21 85 74 25 95 15
09 19 01 18 05 01 12 20 05 01 19
30 19 28 23 19 75 36 19 70 11 23
20 08 05 06 21 03 11 09 19 06 21
03 11 09 14 07 77 07 07 77 74 74
23 09 20 08 13 02 21 20 20 08 09
19 11 23 04 11 23 25 11 23 25 11
09 19 01 18 05 01 12 20 05 01 19
05 03 14 03 14 03 14 08 14 03 14
06 05 06 13 20 23 01 07 06 15 20
23 12 08 06 15 20 23 24 07 03 14
06 05 06 13 20 23 01 07 06 15 20
23 12 08 06 15 20 23 24 07 03 14
06 05 06 13 20 23 01 07 06 15 20
23 12 08 06 15 20 23 24 07 88 11
22 20 07 10 16 25 48 49 00 01 02
43 19 08 17 04 01 12 12 01 19 09
16 08 16 08 17 09 17 09 29 04 43
...
005 003 014 003 014 003 014 008 014 003 014
033 979 033 232 079 000 068 013 626 048 314
053 016 000 039 043 072 059 003 058 000 008
006 005 006 013 020 023 001 007 006 015 020
230 102 008 006 105 200 203 204 007 314 081
011 023 004 003 014 011 012 025 011 023 025
011 023 025 014 011 012 025 011 025 012 314
106 205 306 413 520 623 701 807 906 015 120
123 212 308 406 515 620 723 824 907 031 145
006 005 006 013 020 023 001 007 006 015 020
123 102 008 006 015 020 023 024 007 159 265
022 020 007 010 016 025 048 409 001 002 003
...
...
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