Letters from Sanford Street # 545

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Alright. So here's the nightmare I was having: basically. I'm basically sent to the Russian Federation, and Vladimir Putin makes me apply for a scholarship, funded by yandex.ru, to Vladimir Putin State University, which is free for dipshits like me anyway, he just wants to give a hard time. he makes me get a doctorate in Russian, and then I have to explain to him, in Russian, why my tweets are funny.

and then. Once I finally do that, he sends me to Vladimir Putin State Conservatory to study Rachmaninoff, and, he makes me compose two-thirds of a concerto, and perform it on a micro-piano, 

and for some reason. he's legitimately disappointed with my performance.

and then he sends me back to the United States. Completely unharmed. Of course. To learn how to fish. And he asks me to send him an American Catfish. 

and then he sends it right back. With a painting of a sad face. Saying. That I actually send him a bottle of orange juice, but his suspicion is that someone must have intercepted the package en route to to Vladivostok, where he was feeding his pet Orca, who is likewise disappointed that i sent him a bottle of orange juice, however, when i look at what's in the box, it's a fucking catfish.

The orca. Named. Wilson Libre. Wanted to eat fish. And not drink orange juice.

I don't remember.

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I was listening to a kind of. Arts and culture section on the BBC, and, one of the historians makes a comment about. Like how everyone and their mother compares poor leadership to Neronic behavior. And I was really butt hurt when I she said that.

* * *

Good lord. What else was I thinking. Instead of oracular, maybe I should have said, sagacious.

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355


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Remember, try not to take


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I'm really tired.


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Greetings Mitsubishi:

I'm writing because I've recently had an issue with my vehicle that
will require repairs, and the costs that I've been quoted are
extremely high. I've taken my vehicle to a service center at a
Mitsubishi Dealership and I've been told that the repair expenses
would not be covered by the warranty, this is frustrating because the
main reason why I bought this vehicle new, and from a dealership, was
the understanding that these mechanical issues would be covered under
the manufacturer warranty.

My car has around 40,000 miles, and I've been the only owner of this
vehicle for the past 4 years. I've been told by the service center
manager that the issue with my car is a clutch failure, and that the
clutch isn't covered, but the transmission would be, but that there is
no issue with the transmission. To me, a warranty that covers
transmission failures, but not clutch failures, is like a health plan
that covers the testicles, but not the scrotum.

I'm really hoping that something can be done about this potentially
large repair bill that I'm facing. My car is being repaired at Hurst
Autoplex Mitsubishi at 240 NE Loop 820, Hurst, TX 76053. My VIN is
ML32A3HJ0KH011768. I'm working with Nathan Hausser at the service
center.



Sincerely,

Kenneth Larot Yamat
816-724-5293