Letters from Sanford Street # 500

What's on my mind? It bothers me when my parents worry about me. The idea that I can be forced into the hospital worries me. Maybe I'll hold it together. Maybe I'll keep it together. In many ways I'm sure I'm falling apart. I don't know what the hell to do. I kind of want to take a trip somewhere, but I have no idea where. My car is still in the shop, and, the time line for getting things squared away continues to be pushed back.

Maybe I can just fly somewhere, but, with the war, maybe it doesn't make sense to travel anywhere internationally, and I can't stand the idea of flying domestically when I can just drive domestically myself.

Applications are open again for the software development program, but my confidence is just way too bruised from my previous experience to try again. I keep requesting a box to return the computer, but, it just never seems to arrive. I just can't seem to bring myself to reapply.

I was hoping that working 2 jobs might be the answer, but, it just didn't, everyone at the gas station was a jerk, and, the guy who offered me the job at the janitorial company turned out to be a jerk. Maybe the only time that it would ever work was when I was in Missouri.