I want to think about where I went wrong in this whole process. Well. It's possible that taking too much overtime didn't leave me with enough time to work on the classes, but I want to say that's not true: I had enough time, but I just never had enough energy left over to do anything other than eat and sleep.
There were times when I tried to work in 2 hours a day to work on the course work, and then try for 8 hours a day on my days off, but that was something I had trouble maintaining.
I tried to leave coding videos on during my commute to and from work, in the hope that I could monetize or capitalize on my commute hours in some way, but, none of the videos I would play were really adapted to that form of, I guess, osmosis kind of learning.
Anyway. So I'm going to turn in whatever I have by the end of the day, no matter what it looks like, and I'm going to take the test before then end of tomorrow no matter how well prepared I am. The goal here is to turn in whatever I have, and complete the application.
Am I being indifferent to my candidacy? I want to say that the answer is no, it's more an issue of it being kind of late in the process to really recover or change trajectory or change course or whatever, and, I more or less am where I am right now. This is the position that am in, and, that's that.
But let's also think for a minute here, going back to July and August, I really had no desire to pursue any kind of career change or career advancement or anything like that. I was more or less content with my tier 1 role at the company, with my 20 hours a week of overtime, and food delivery side hustle, and my growing portfolio of investments, I was content with where I was at, and I still am pretty content with where I'm at now. I think it was just that month or so when there wasn't any overtime that made me feel like I was in a kind of precarious position, that a pay cut can happen whenever the payroll department feels like it's appropriate, but I remember that, even during that month where I wasn't getting much overtime, I was able to sock away 1700 or 1800 dollars, and that's not including my retirement contributions, which I believe have been elevated since the beginning of summer.
I've been on paid vacation, and paid time off since the end of my shift on the 16th, and honestly, I slept most of this time. I had coding and programming videos playing in the background while I rested, but I really just slept nearly this entire time. I don't really think that reducing the amount of overtime I signed up for would have really done anything for me, because, even with all the sleep I had this week, I still feel like sleeping.
I think that maybe the motivation to find a higher paying line of work is mostly from dating and trying to find a girlfriend and all that stuff. I honestly don't know what to really do about the whole dating thing, I'm not sure I really need to do any dating things, and I'm not even sure I'm really interested in doing the whole dating thing. I don't think that I'm inherently apathetic to dating, I think that I just haven't had very much success when it comes to dating, and in my mind, I have to throw in the towel at some point and wash my hands of that whole business. I deleted my Bumble account, even though I was never really planning on doing that, and, even though I paid for a lifetime premium membership. I just have not had any success with online dating, or with dating apps, or with any kind of dating what so ever. The whole business of dating has really just been fruitless for me.
With my Robinhood account, I started to sell of some of the stocks I own in individual companies. I think that I'm only going to do that with my other accounts. It just gets cluttered and difficult to manage. I can accept the fact that options section of my Robinhood portfolio is cluttered, but, when I own individual stocks in my Robinhood portfolio, it starts to become unclear, it starts to become difficult to delineate between the stocks that I'm holding long term, and the stocks that I'm holding as a result of options plays, and the stocks that I'm holding long term and as options plays simultaneously. I'm just going to repurchase these stocks that I sold in my Robinhood account, and buy them again in my Fidelity IRA. I'm going to hold enough stocks in my Robinhood account as a result of options plays, so I really don't think I want I want to keep long terms investments in there too. I'm trying to think about how to elaborate better about the Robinhood situation. Well, I think of it as being two things at once, I have long term holdings in my Robinhood portfolio, which would be my ETFs, and then long term holdings which are individual stocks, and then tactical stock holdings, and options positions that are also tactical, my thinking is that I need to simplify this whole thing so that it's easier to figure out how risky my positions are, or how risky my position is, or, if I'm taking on an excessive level of risk, or whatever. My thinking is that, if 80 percent of my positions are long term, and 20 percent are tactical, I'm at a level or risk that is tolerable to me, but if it's hard for me to figure out where I'm at with respect to this 80/20 breakdown that I want to be at, if I have to figure out which stocks are long term holdings and which stocks are tactical holdings. Now this 80/20 long-term/tactical breakdown only applies to my Robinhood account, I consider everything else, IBKR and Fidelity, long term, so when I take everything together, I think that only about 10 percent of all of my investments are tactical investments. Or, maybe I should refer to them as tactical positions, rather than tactical investments.
Part of the reason I haven't gotten into cryptocurrency is that I feel that I'm already at an elevated level of risk with my options plays, and, I really don't want to double up on my levels of risk. So for now I'm just going to continue not getting involved in cryptocurrency.
Let's think of something for a minute here, when I think of someone who does something high risk, I think of Elon Musk, and the last time I read about Tesla, I think Tesla had holdings of about 3 billion in cryptocurrency, but this is out of a market cap of about 900 billion, meaning that the value of Tesla's cryptocurrency holdings aren't even 1 percent of the total value of Tesla itself. It's one third of 1 percent.
So if I were to take on exactly 1 Elon Musk Unit level of risk, I would basically be holding 150 dollars worth of bitcoin. Right?
So even if I wanted to rocket past the Moon, all the way to fucking Mars, I would only be doing it with 150 dollars worth of bitcoin.
And when I think about it like that, I mean, yeah, I probably could buy a small amount of cryptocurrency, like 150 or 300 or 450 worth of bitcoin, but honestly, I would rather own an equivalent amount of Coinbase stock. I
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