my boss's name is kristin.
Is she as mean as I am?
oh yes, even meaner.
how mean are you?
Like 9/10
that's pretty mean.
what is the meanest thing you have ever done?
Once my sister made me mad so I stuck her toothbrush in the litter box
oh no!!!
that's super mean!!!
did she know you did that?
i don't have any body hair.
No so if you see her don’t tell her okay?
i will not.
OR MAYBE I WILL!!! HAHAHAHAHHA
and then you will be in super trouble.
you might even go to jail for 100 years
multiple life-sentences. FOR LIFE!!!
😡
ok
never mind
i wont do it
hey
you happen to be the exact same age as my boss too.
Maybe she’s my evil twin. With the same name... to confuse people
OH MY GOD!!! THAT'S IT!!!
or maybe you are my boss.
OH NO!!!
GET BACK TO WORK
ok. i will.
BUT I DEMAND OVERTIME!!!
THATS NOT THE WAY WE DO THINGS AROUND HERE
well then how am i supposed to feed my goldfish?
im the provider.
Fish food is like $1, you’ll be fine
and i can't provide without getting paid overtime.
Okay you can have overtime but no vacation
ok
i hate vacation anyway.
what is a general studies major?
did you just take 120 units of whatever you wanted?
Basically. Between my associates degree and taking classes related to work I was only 11 classes away
I was practical about it though, I took business classes
oh my god. you are a capitalist pig! down with the capitalist pigs!
YOURE FIRED
i see you were in kansas. my dad went to UMKC i think? that isn't kansas.
say goodbye to your goldfish
NO!
my goldfish are my life!
they are my children and i am their father!
I just want to make enough money that I can buy fancy lipgloss whenever I want okay? Is that so terrible?!
well, maybe, how fancy are we talking. NOT CHANEL!!!
Ummmm like Fenty Beauty
thats even more expensive. i looked
this isn't going to work out.
unless.
you gave me a kitten.
How about a sticker? It’s scratch and sniff
oh yes. what does it smell like?
A pear
I covered my planner in stickers so now people probably think I’m 12
oh no.
You wouldn’t be able to resist a Lisa frank sticker book either okay?!
do you like using a planner more than outlook or google calendar?
i wouldn't
i love lisa frank.
she is my wife.
Okay here’s a secret. I prefer google calendar but I aspire to be a paper planner user
and we have 12 goldfish together.
oh no! PAPER! the paper market is going to shoot through the roof!
It has bees on it. I should’ve held out for a unicorn one, such regret
i will buy stocks in paper companies and become a millionaire in 25 seconds.
oh my! you should have
unicorns are the greatest.
im looking through my facebook to find my degree, but i can't.
MAYBE I NEVER WENT TO COLLEGE!!!
You lied on your resume!!! FIRED AGAIN!!
does nevada have a state school system? or just a university of nevada system?
i can't get fired. im part of the union, and the union says that i cant get fired.
There’s also Nevada state college. That’s where my sister went
She just got her masters also
So when you see her congratulate her
oh, and when i see her i will also tell her you put her toothbrush in the litter box!!!
😭
she got her masters also meaning you got yours too?
No but I finished my bachelors around the same time
i don't think im going to get a masters
Talk your dad into paying for it like my sister did!!
maybe i will.
and then i will be a master!!!
i've always wanted to be a master!!! of something other than my school of goldfish!!!
Tell me a secret
IM A PERVERT!!!
All men are, try again
im still looking for my degree but i can't find it. i know when i posted it my mom shared it. so im looking her up on facebook but i don't see it.
well what do you want to know?
Maybe she unfriended you
maybe she did!!!
she has a secret life!!!
no
actually she and i are friends on facebook, and i looked at review friendship, but i don't see the post.
i just see some family reunion pictures.
what kind of secret are you looking for?
I have no idea
I’m going to sleep so you have time to think about it
no!
do you have work tomorrow?
Yes ☹️
ok. talk to you tomorrow.
why don't you tell me a secret.
I ate pancakes and now I want to die
i had cereal at like 2 am this morning. im playing gta right now. is that a secret?
did you get off work?
No, still at work
it's slavery! what days are you off?
Sunday Monday Tuesday
those are the most evil days of the week!!!
we should figure out a time to hang out.
we could do evil stuff since you are off on the most evil days of the week. we could put more tooth brushes in more litter boxes.
What days are you off?
just saturday and sunday.
those are the least evil days of the week.
I want weekends off 😡
you have sunday off. that's part of the weekend.
id like a week day off, but i guess not.
It is pretty nice to get things done when there are less people
Also savers is 50% off on Mondays!
what's good at savers?
i could never find any clothes there that fit.
most of the books aren't what im looking for.
i did get a tie once.
a blue one.
I like cat figurines
and used it for about a year.
OH MY GOD YOU ARE AN EGYPTIAN!!!
I KNEW IT!!!
You found out my secret. I’m Nefertiti
that's my favorite egyptian.
i happen to be Ramses the 47th. and you are my sister-wife Nefertiti.
Well who is your favourite Henry viii wife
Dibs on Catherine parr!!!
uh, i can't think of any. the only henry i know is the one who did the feast of crispian.
this day shall the good man know
and crispian crispian shall n'er go down on his wife.
unless she does something EVIL!!!
That’s Henry v
funny how 3 generations really screws people up.
i like the laurence olivier version better than then kenneth one.
would you like to hang out next sunday? i didn't put any money in my budget this week for hanging out. so i wouldn't be able to do this sunday.
we can do something cool. the only bill i have next week is 25 bucks.
or we could do something evil.
Like kill everyone?
no!!! that would be the most evil thing ever!!!
maybe i meant mean, since you are a mean person. maybe mean and not evil.
let's do something super mean!!!
are you mad that i suggested we go next week rather than tomorrow?
No
we can do something if you want. i paid the cable bill and have some money left over.
we can get drinks or something.
and then do something mean.
or evil.
not quite as evil as killing everyone.
maybe something a little less evil.
like stealing ice cream from all the babies.
and maybe since you like hair, i can go to the barber shop and tape some hair to my chest.
Should I take a nap
no. sleep is the enemy.
was work hard today?
were the customers evil?
is it possible that you need vitamin D?
The customers are always evil
they are.
they only think about themselves, and the millions they could make gambling. they never think about the free buffets with eggs and bacon.
But that’s also how I got pancakes so they’re not always evil
There was also bacon
eating bacon is very therapeutic.
why didn't you eat bacom
I did eat bacon. But I have some to my boss
Gave oops
I didn’t eat the eggs
did you feed your boss like he or she was a little doggie?
Nah I was like here eat these eggs, I don’t want them
you don't like eggs? were they fried or boiled?
they have boiled eggs at work and i eat them all the time.
Scrambled. I like eggs but sometimes they make my tummy hurt
im eating chicken right now.
i would love to eat scrambled chicken.
My cat is doing yoga
bullshit
ive seen goats do yoga.
but CATS!!!
it's impossible.
She had her leg behind her head!!
post it on youtube so i can see.
She stopped, now she’s laying down
WHAT!!!
tell her she needs exercise for cardiovascular health.
do you feed your cats actual cat food. or live mice?
She does need to exercise. She’s round like a meatball
that's the best shape ever! meat balls are awesome!
Where in Vegas do you live anyway
north las vegas
off pecos.
what about you?
Summerlin
i dont think ive ever been there.
im not really an explorer.
Me neither
you shouldn't come to north las vegas unless i am there to protect you. it's a war-zone out here and people are dropping like flies. the cocaine market is at an all time low and dealers are fighting over turf and muff munching privileges. the murder rate is worse than detroit and there is no telling how much worse it will get.
I’ve been there and I saw the target is closed so there’s basically no reason for me to go ever again
yeah
i go to wal-mart
i didn't know there was a target out here.
There’s not anymore
Walmart has a bigger selection of fat girl clothes than target but targets fat girl clothes are way cuter
in this heat i think everyone should just not wear clothes.
the people in third world countries making the clothes will have more time to spend with their families and pick potatoes and coconuts.
I agree mostly. I’ve been wearing dresses and sandals
NO!!!
Do my bare legs offend you
They are very pale so this would not surprise me
i just had rice so im doing a little jumping rope.
I LOVE BARE LEGS!!!
i mean you shouldn't wear clothes because of the people in third-world countries need time-off.
AND YOU ARE WEARING THEM!!!
But I need to wear something because I burn easily and also at least shorts because of chub rub
i need to see the legs or else i will die of horblonia syndrome.
Google bare legs and you’ll be fine
hahahaha
i googled bare legs, and im still suffering from symptoms of horblonia.
i dont think that i have much time left.
im wasting away and dying.
what is your opinion on gold?
I prefer silver but I wear gold sometimes
yeah, i like silver too. i want to get some silver coins, but i don't really know what to look for, or how to know if im getting a good deal or not. and there is the issue of them getting stolen.
i thought that you could buy them directly from the mint, but they send you to a site and you have to go through a coin dealer. which sucks.
are you taking a nap?
I was watching a YouTube video
was it a cat yoga video?
It was simplynailogical, she did drag makeup on her boyfriend. I have a crush on him
oh my god!!! regular or in drag?
Regular, he looked scary in the makeup
hahaha. ill check it out.
maybe you should marry him.
and then steal all his gold coins and give them to me!
i read a little on the henry viii thing.
i think it would have been cool if he married the aragon lady.
He did
She was his first wife
well i guess i mean it would have been good if he stayed with her.
Oh yeah probavly
But then we wouldn’t have queen Elizabeth so 🤷🏻♀️
maybe there would have been a catherine 2 & 3.
and then world history exams would have been a pain in the ass because we would have to distinguish between catherine 2 of england, and catherine the great of russia!
🎊🎊🎊
can i have my job back? i have ocular proof of my credentials!
I’ll consider it
im making cigarettes right now.
i think you would rather hire a dinosaur!!!
Cigarettes are grosssss
well then i guess im fired again. this is the worst. maybe i'll have to look for a job where i can smoke. don't you work in a casino?
Yes
so aren't you around smoke all the time?
Yes
And I hate it
maybe you should wear an oxygen tank to work. you would look so awesome.
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