Wanker Monorhyme
By Kenneth Larot Yamat
I swear to god that you've got to see this,
it's a brand new photograph of my penis,
from the plains of Scythia to the Peloponnesus,
or Satan below on high to lord Jesus,
it's length and girth is enough to please us,
with a shaft like a Twix and a head like a Reese's,
free from the wrath and blight of diseases,
you'll gaze upon it until your heart freezes.
The Craft
By Kenneth Larot Yamat
It's important to pick where your line ends
because rhymes are not that easy to come
by, and you want to make sure your verse sends
the right drift to your readers and not some
peripheral message that results from
trying to make your lines rhyme, which offends
the judgments of the hearing, deaf, and dumb,
and for the prize of lousy verse pretends.
Most people don't even bother to make
their lines rhyme, so it's not that important
that I do it either, I tend to take
things as they come: it rhymes to an extent
that's great, if not then oh well, better luck
next time, just write your lines and don't get stuck.
Listless
By Kenneth Larot Yamat
I cannot think of anything to write
about right now. I'm hearing some music
and browsing Facebook but nothing has quite
set my creativity cogs to click
and clack and my fingers to tap away
at the keyboard. I need something to get
my creative juices flowing the way
they do when I'm smoking a cigarette.
Everything on Facebook is about how
Donald Trump is a douche bag and YouTube
has nothing but old recommendations
and I'm super hungry for some hot chow,
some hot and greasy noodles that can lube
my venous and arterial stations.
Diet Pepsi
By Kenneth Larot Yamat
I drink about four liters of this stuff
every day and every day of the week
and every week of the month and every
month of the year. It's a really good drink
but it's either the sheer quantity or
maybe it's the caffeine or the Splenda
that makes me need to take the fattest piss
every half hour or so, and that sucks.
I'll be in the middle of something that's
important and I'll need to rush to the
bathroom to let the lizard bleed as hard
as I can push it with wicked relief.
I should really consider switching to
water, without the poisons I'd piss less.
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